A Comparison of Facebook Friendships and Marketing Value

Sometimes you just want to roll through your entire friend list and tell everyone “it’s complicated.”  Facebook, the Biggest Brother of them all, makes its money trying to unravel those twisted threads into usable marketing data.  I imagine that if they used underemployed humanities majors to sort that out instead of multi-million dollar computer algorithms, it might look like this.

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Simple Shit: Why RoboCop is Awesome

Ladies and gentlemen, I did not expect it, but I loved the everliving crap out of RoboCop.  It’s over-the-top 80s gory, it’s a slapstick satire of 80s America, and it’s got some of the simplest but most effective visual storytelling that anyone who’s ever seen a movie before should be able to grasp.

Let’s summarize the plot to begin:

Detroit really sucks, and the cops can’t do much.  Some are bought, but all are outgunned.  The corporation that basically owns the police decide to replace cops with AT-STs.  Some guy in a suit gets blown into Campbell’s Chunky Tomato by one, so another exec says, “Let’s try making the Borg instead.  They’re at least half-people in there, and this won’t happen.”  They dig up a cop that got blown into Garden Medly Ragu by Red Forman and turn him into an emotionless law enforcement machine, complete with badass one-liners and pistol spins.  He robo-dozes off in his tiny I’m-a-robot-so-it’s-ok dormitory holding cell, and dreams about when he was a person.  Then he starts hunting down The Formans to avenge himself and remember enough of his humanity to have a celibate crush on his old police partner.  END OF MOVIE.

So how in the sweet name of Cyberdyne Systems is this a good movie?  Because it does all of its simple shit perfectly.

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