I know we may be far apart, but I’m glad that I get to be an internet neighbor to you!
I want to share something special with you – I’d like to take some time and talk about my grandma, and Mr. Rogers, and why they’re so important to me. Would you read this post, and share your time with me?
Ladies and gentlemen, I did not expect it, but I loved the everliving crap out of RoboCop. It’s over-the-top 80s gory, it’s a slapstick satire of 80s America, and it’s got some of the simplest but most effective visual storytelling that anyone who’s ever seen a movie before should be able to grasp.
Let’s summarize the plot to begin:
Detroit really sucks, and the cops can’t do much. Some are bought, but all are outgunned. The corporation that basically owns the police decide to replace cops with AT-STs. Some guy in a suit gets blown into Campbell’s Chunky Tomato by one, so another exec says, “Let’s try making the Borg instead. They’re at least half-people in there, and this won’t happen.” They dig up a cop that got blown into Garden Medly Ragu by Red Forman and turn him into an emotionless law enforcement machine, complete with badass one-liners and pistol spins. He robo-dozes off in his tiny I’m-a-robot-so-it’s-ok dormitory holding cell, and dreams about when he was a person. Then he starts hunting down The Formans to avenge himself and remember enough of his humanity to have a celibate crush on his old police partner. END OF MOVIE.
So how in the sweet name of Cyberdyne Systems is this a good movie? Because it does all of its simple shit perfectly.
It’s incredible watching TV shows change completely over their runs. Sometimes it’s a simple matter of doing things better. Star Trek: The Next Generation started out with terrible rubber-suit aliens, clumsy characters, and some truly godawful plots.
Picard is quaintly confused by the sudden presence of black people. Er, Ligonians.
But then, somewhere between seasons 2 and 4, magic happened. They got some new writers, nudged the characters into their grooves, and let Riker become the manliest man in space.
Tonight, I was watching this guy,
Ball so hard creationists wanna fine me
and he brilliantly utilized the television medium to inspire a generation of rational thinkers to grow outward into the universe. He might also have been the smuggest motherfucker on TV.